“Bees don’t exist,” we’re assured. Our class tumbles over itself in a fit of giggles, but no, Leo’s serious. And he’s got his facts lined up. He’s not going to let you or I be the next fly stuck in the honey.
First of all, Leo’s a part of the B.E.E. : The Bureau of Existential Enigmas. They’re an anti-bee organization, founded by Blake Nemeth (Agent B), consisting of four members and their supporters. Leo’s been a member of the ‘non-bee-lievers’ for a relatively short period of time, which he claims to be about three months now, which began when he met a member through a mutual friend of theirs. Their story is as follows:
Leo met Angus as a part of a depression group at Blake’s request – a web-based therapy chat of sorts meant to create a sense of camaraderie between adolescents experiencing similar struggles. At first, it was assumed that the group was simply a chatroom meant for simple socializing, but after a period of time, Leo states that he realized that, “everyone here has depression.”
Initially, when Angus first began proposing his theory, Leo admits he was a skeptic. “I thought it was stupid,” he explained to me. “I see bees every day.” Once the details cleared themselves up, however, he decided the theory was relatively sound and that his doubts clouding the truth were insignificant.
What were some of these doubts clouding the truth? Well, for one – honey. “You see honey in a store, and what makes honey?” I’m asked. “Bees do.” Alas, I am taught that honey is derived from the honey mines. The creator of bees, otherwise known as ‘Big Wasp’, is holding humans hostage and forcing them to mine honey for his own profit (possibly to manufacture more bees; more on the origin/creation of bees soon). He is an independent tyrant, free from any political influence. I am told his only motivators are evil and greed.
Another doubt clouding the truth can be likened to a biblical parable… very very loosely.
I am given an atheistic approach to Leo’s next example. He explains how the argument for the nonexistence of a higher power can be sound due to the inability to physically witness a higher power of any kind. Bees, of course, are believed to exist because we are able to track them with our eyes.
Conveniently, this acts as a segue into a question I had already prepared; how it is possible to dissect this nonexistent insect just as any other member of any other species may be. The answer: technology. “You have to make it look real.” he says. Big Wasp has the technological capabilities to make the hyperrealistic creatures we think we see pollinating flowers and zipping around our heads. How long does something of this technological and worldwide scale take to produce? “We don’t know.” Where? “Somewhere outside of Nevada.” Why Nevada? “Everything happens in Nevada.”
Not all truth-clouding doubts are involved with impersonal senses, of course. How do we explain that awful sting? How do we explain allergic reactions?
“The stingers are tracking devices.” Tracking devices? What about us needs to be tracked? Why do we need to be tracked?
Apparently, the stingers act as a technologically advanced GPS. They track where we go, where we last visited, our physical and emotional well-being, who we are as people. All information which is stored in a database eternally.
The reason we must be tracked stems from Big Wasp’s inherent need to protect themselves. Protect themselves from what, you ask? It would be more fitting if you had questioned from whom. People like Leo, of course. The B.E.E. and their supporters. Those who want to free those slaving away in the honey mines.
Allergic reactions, I am taught, are actually an evolutionary tactic that progressive human beings are developing as a sort of biological alarm system that alerts the mentally-unaware-yet-biologically-awake specimen that a tracker has been placed in their body. “The human race wants Big Wasp taken down.”
Of course, the only logical progression of questions from here leads to, “If the human race wants Big Wasp taken down, and the B.E.E. is the beginning of the revolution, why hasn’t Big Wasp taken you down yet?” It’s all about the antibodies. The B.E.E. takes incredible precautions regarding their safety and invisibility. They have created an anti-bacteria (maybe Leo meant antibody but I won’t mess with straight quotes) that prevents their being tracked. It has not yet been mass produced due to its intense expense and the little to no revenue the B.E.E. brings in as a result of their four-member alliance. But they’ll get there.
To my side comment regarding the bee crisis, the now relatively-known news that honeybees and their relatives are becoming extinct, Leo became quite animated and exclaimed, “IT’S WORKING.” Whatever ‘it’ is is unclear, unless he is referring to the general existence of the B.E.E. and their ideology.
Before our interview came to a close, Leo had a closing remark he wished to share with me; one that I will gladly share with you.
“Liberate the honey mines.”